Will you blow on my dice?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
