There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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