I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
