can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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