dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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