Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
