We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
