We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
