a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize