I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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