And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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