Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
