I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm having to shit out rocks
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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