What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
