all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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