im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
