It's Friday. Sex?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
