The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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