he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
