what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
