Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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