Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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