But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize