we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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