fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
