It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He felt like a one man threesome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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