this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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