Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
