yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
