I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I wish you could order shots online.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
