Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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