When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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