all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
