Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
