i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
