don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
