That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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