I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
