No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
