maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
