I could have mohawked her pubes.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
