come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
