You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
