My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
