i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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