porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
