Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
