so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
