STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
