Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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