It's Friday. Sex?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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