Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
