He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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