It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
