There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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