his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
