His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
