That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
