too bad you live with your parents still
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
