I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
