My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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