Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
